Vern Schellenger
Oct 31

3 Common Mistakes When Networking

The 3 most common mistakes people make when they are networking are:

Mistake # 1:  Their approach to networking doesn't work very well
Many people approach networking not sure what to do, how to do it, what to say and this often leads to a conversation that has little substance.

At Contacts Count we want all of our clients to approach every conversation with a mindset that is focused on TEACHING & GIVING.  The logic is pretty simple - the more I teach you about who I am, what I am all about, my character, my interests and abilities - the greater likelihood you may be able to help me in some way.  And the more I learn those same things about you the greater likelihood I can give back (help) you in some way.

Of course, no one can learn all of those things in a single conversation.  You have had the experience where when you meet someone for the first time and things just seem to click.  So over time the more you learn about each other the greater impact you have on each other's professional and personal lives.  This is what we call the power of human connection!
Mistake # 2:  They are not sure how to begin a conversation
When you first meet someone and they ask the proverbial "What do you do? question, how do you answer that?  Title and company, your profession, your industry, or some combination of these typical answers.  These types of answers don't really answer the question -What do you do?

A better response is to talk about a skill, a talent you have and how you have used it to create a positive outcome.  That kind of answer begins to teach the other person something about who you are and what you do.  And be sure to not make the conversation a one-way street.  Typically you might ask them what they do.  Listen and see if you have a follow up question.  Better yet – come to any conversation with some prepared questions.

At Contacts Count we use the phrase ..”be seriously curious” during your conversations. The more you learn the more likely you might be able to help them in some way.
Mistake # 3:  The conversation becomes a dead end.  There is no follow up

Almost everyone leaves a networking event with some (maybe a lot) of business cards.  And most of the time where do they end up – in the trash.  I am sure this behavior will continue as many people believe this is what must be done.  So you politely accept these business cards and for many of them there is no follow up.  And if it is not a business card it is an instanteous use of our cell phones to connect on LinkedIn.  The reason there is no follow up is that there is really nothing to follow up about.  Whenever you meet someone – whether at a networking event or one-on-one do your best to teach them something about who you are and learn something about them.  In doing so one or both of you might agree to follow up for a given reason.

A second conversation allows each of you to learn more about the other person.  In subsequent conversations both of you now know ways you may help the other person.
These are the type of trust-based mutually beneficial relationships that will make a difference in your professional and personal life.  Think about all of the most meaningful relationships you have right now in your network – they have all resulted from the first conversation you ever had with that person.  And all of the subsequent conversations.

Thoughts, comments, questions – vern@contactscount.com

About the Author
Vern Schellenger, President and CEO of Contacts Count

Contacts Count is the premier coaching and training organization dedicated to helping you use the power of human connection to transform your career, business, and your life.

Vern is dedicated to empowering professionals and entrepreneurs with the strategies, skills and tools to master networking (even if they are introverted and don’t like networking events). His vast experience includes such roles as HR VP and CLO at Dunkin Donuts, VP & Director of Professional Services at Lee Hecht Harrison, and SR VP of Human Resources at American Bankers Association.

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